hey could you hold this for me a second *gives you my hand*
i want to be the one you tell everything to at 4am when you can’t sleep
So I was writing a small paper in Microsoft Word and the program suddenly crashed (I saved a couple minutes before, thank god) and I get this message in the corner of my screen two seconds afterward
what the fuck
The guys gets some unwanted advice on the art of women while at the bookstore. This is certainly a No Fedora/Brony Flex Zone indeed.
u call me dumb?? i have straight A
u call me lame??? i am cool ass heck B)
u call me gay????? well
i find bad jokes funnier than funny jokes
If you tell me you’re going to sleep and I see you 10 minutes later on Tumblr, I understand completely.
tall people: if we are walking together please take into consideration my tiny legs. i cant keep up with you. please think of my tiny legs i dont want to be jogging to keep up with your leisurely stroll you TITANS
is it just me, or does chris evans look freaking amazing in drag
He looks like auroa…
YOU’RE a baby
I’M a baby
WE CAN BE BABIES TOGETHER
FUCK I FORGOT THAT THE BIRD STORE I WORK AT HAS ONE BABY BIRD THAT LIKES TO SLEEP IN PEOPLES POCKETS IM HOME AND SOMETHING IS MOVING IN MY POCKET OH FUCK
YEAH ITS THE BIRD I JUST ACCIDENTALLY STOLE A BIRD
MY BOSS JUST GAVE ME THE MOST STERN LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL BEFORE HE STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD HE HAD TO GRAB THE EDGE OF A TABLE
The thing about horror movie situations is imma do my best to help you but if we running and you fallin or we hidin and you whimperin and sobbin, that’s it! I can’t do nothing else for you! You have made the choice to be a damsel in distress and boo this ain’t Camelot I have 0 time to die
if someone tells you your clothing style is gay, respond with:
"yeah, it came out of the closet this morning."